By Tak Landrock
t.landrock@krdo.com

COLORADO SPRINGS - In an e-mail obtained by NEWSCHANNEL 13, former New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard admits to sexual contact with a gay escort and using drugs.
 
This is the first public revelation of what Haggard claims is the full story of what happened between him and his accuser, Mike Jones.
 
Haggard sent the e-mail to close family friend Kurt Serpe back in October. In it, he writes: "I was referred to Mike Jones from the concierge at a Marriott hotel when I asked for a masseur." The e-mail then becomes more detailed and sexual in nature.
 
"It was during the massage that it started to become sensual, and that led to him masturbating me," writes Haggard. He continues with "That was and is our only sexual contact." Haggard adds because it was immoral it was this experience that caused him to confess immorality.
 
Jones went public about his alleged three-year paid relationship with Haggard in November 2006. Haggard was forced to quit as leader of New Life Church and head of The National Association of Evangelicals.
 
The e-mail also talks about drugs Haggard bought from Jones. "During the conversation with Mike during and after the time he masturbated me, he told me about some drugs that he could get for me that would enhance my masturbation experience."
 
Over the course of five visits, Haggard bought those drugs, but never specifies what kind. "I actually used them three times, throwing them away in shame before use two times. It is for these offenses that I confessed being immoral and deceitful."
 
Serpe tells NEWSCHANNEL 13 he asked Haggard point-blank for the truth. "I thought it was important to know, so I could have clarity." Serpe has known the Haggard family for more than 20 years. His family began going to New Life when Haggard held services in the basement of his home. Serpe stopped going to New Life after Haggard was forced to resign.

 "He craved sex, he was a sexaholic," says Serpe. He believes it had nothing to do with homosexuality, but more about masturbation and gratification. "This is something that he has been struggling with all of his life," says Serpe. He says Haggard told him the relationship lasted only three-months, not three years.

"In one of the letters to the congregation after the crisis broke, he wrote that he was a ‘liar and deceiver' and that this is one of the issues of the ‘dark and shameful' secrets that he's been warring with all of his life."
 
Serpe shared the e-mail with NEWSCHANNEL 13 because he felt the truth needed to be told. At first he was shocked by what Haggard wrote, but is happy to finally know the details.

Haggard recently moved back to Colorado Springs, after moving to Arizona in February 2007. He was sent to a church in Phoenix for restoration, but left early and cut ties with New Life.

Church leaders later said his restoration was "incomplete" and he was not welcomed back to New Life.

Serpe says Haggard moved back because Colorado Springs is his home. He also felt Haggard would not get back into preaching.

Jones feels Haggard still isn't telling the complete story. "Until he comes to honesty about the whole situation, it's always going to plague him."
 
Originally Haggard told a Denver TV station that he bought meth once, but never used it and threw the drugs away.
 
Jones stands behind his claim that the relationship involved numerous encounters during three-years and denies selling Haggard drugs.

We tried several times to contact Haggard, but he never responded to our requests.

To see the entire e-mail click here.