By Tak Landrock
t.landrock@krdo.com

WARNING-Some of the inforamation is graphic in nature

COLORADO SPRINGS - For more than two years, Grant kept a secret from those he considered his family.

"It's a lot of pain, a lot of mistrust with that church," reveals the former New Life volunteer.

In order to protect his identity, NEWSCHANNEL 13 is choosing not to reveal 25-year-old Grant's last name. 

Back in the summer of 2006, Grant was invited to go to Cripple Creek by the man he trusted and looked up to as a mentor.    

"He asked me if we were going to be godly or bad that night," Grant says, recalling their trip.   The former volunteer says that meant either hanging out as friends, or buying Haggard porn and masturbate. 

"I told him that I didn't want that," says Grant.

After a day in the small mountain town, both went back to Haggard's hotel room. Grant says he just wanted Haggard to be his pastor and friend, but according to the young man, as they were lying in bed Haggard asked if he could masturbate. Grant told him no, but says Haggard did it anyway.

"I couldn't move," says Grant. 

Grant was fearful to say anything to anyone. 

"He kind of made me have a guilt trip about it, so I wouldn't say anything about it," Grant remembers. 

Before the encounter in Cripple Creek, Grant came to Colorado Springs after leaving Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, Illinois.

"I was a good student, I had a G.P.A of 3.6, I was class president for two years. I really had a great life there."

While he was only a semester away from getting his Bachelors in Pastoral Theology, he wanted to come clean about his sexual identity.

"I pretty much went to the Dean of Students and told them I was struggling with wondering if I was gay or not and they pretty much told me they wouldn't be able to help me."

The college recommended he come to Colorado Springs to get help with his struggle with homosexuality. Four months into attending New Life Church, Pastor Ted Haggard personally introduced himself.

According to Grant, Haggard asked, "What's your story and what are you doing here?"

At first, Grant lied about why he was kicked out of Moody Bible, but finally admitted to him that he thought he was gay.

"It seemed like at that moment his eyes lit up and his whole attitude toward me changed," says Grant.

Haggard gave Grant his personal cell phone and took him to lunch the next day.

"In my mind, from a religious standpoint, I thought the Holy Spirit was speaking to him and God was telling him to help me out of this situation I am in."

Grant's dream was to be a pastor of his own church, and with Haggard ready to help, he thought it would become a reality.

Grant tells NEWSCHANNEL 13 that as their relationship grew, Haggard began text messaging him, sometimes in the middle of the night.

"Texting me all kind of weird things, texting me about all the different sexual positions, practices he was engaging in and it was just really weird," says Grant.

Over the next several months he would get between 1,000 to 2,000 text messages a month.

"He had the church get him a different phone so he could text message me anywhere in the world at any time." Grant adds that if he texted Haggard, he would get a response within 30 minutes. 

Grant also claims Haggard would frequently talk about the party formula.  "From his words, was pretty much: Viagra, some poppers, some crystal meth, porn and masturbation, just doing all of those things at once," says Grant. 

Over the next couple of months, Grant felt Haggard's behavior was sporadic.

"It was like he had two personalities, it was like here is this 50-year-old pastor who is the ultimate man of God and then, this 16-year old horny boy who couldn't keep himself together," Grant recalls. 

The next day after Haggard would text Grant, he would sometimes call, frantic about the messages stored on Grant's phone.

"He would become paranoid of his family finding out, anyone finding out."

NEWSCHANNEL 13 obtained a recorded phone conversation between Haggard and Grant. In the conversation, which was recorded in July of 2007, Grant tells Haggard that he deleted those messages.

"I don't have your text messages, they were deleted," says Grant.  Haggard is then heard asking,

"So you deleted them all of those text messages?"

"Yes," answers Grant.

"Wow! And you didn't save them in any other form?" questions Haggard.

"I didn't save them, I don't have them saved on my computer, I don't have them saved, it was a different phone and I have a new phone," responds Grant.

Grant recorded the call after he says the church failed to keep their promise to help him with counseling and medical bills.  In part of that call, Haggard admits what he did with Grant was wrong.

"You're not going to get your pain taken care of by punishing me, or my family to the church," says Haggard in the recording.

He then tells Grant,

"I would be happy, happy to find you money for you to move somewhere."  Haggard then asks Grant to "forgive." But Grant says he couldn't when the church continually neglected to pay his medical bills - something he says church leaders promised.

"I really felt the church staff did what they could to get me to move to a different city, to get me to stop going to the church, to make these promises to do whatever they could to help, but their main focus was to cover it up," says Grant. "They think Ted Haggard is not a harm to this community and I really think they're wrong, they're dead wrong."

He says unless people come out and speak out about this man, he could do this again.

Grant still hasn't seen all the money he was promised.  He tells NEWSCHANNEL 13 he is due one more payment check - $46,000.  Once all the payments are made, Grant would receive a payout of $179,000.

As for the money already paid out, Senior Pastor Brady Boyd says he won't be demanding the money back from Grant for violating the settlement agreement.

Boyd also told his congregation on Sunday the money was paid by insurance, not member's tithings.

Haggard has issued a statement in response to the NEWSCHANNEL 13 investigation. He admits it was an " inappropriate relationship," while Boyd told the media this was a "consensual relationship."  On Monday, Boyd clarified that "sexual" didn't necessarily mean physical contact.

"Our hearts go out to everyone hurt by the inappropriate actions that took place under former Pastor Ted Haggard," Boyd said in a statement.

Boyd also suggested that the man would not have come forward if an HBO documentary on Haggard were not airing this week. On Sunday, Boyd told his congregation, "I'm sorry that this wound has been reopened for many of you."

Haggard asked for forgiveness for the "inappropriate relationship." Haggard ended the statement with, "Although there was no physical contact, I have regretted my irresponsible behavior."