But you didn't have to look hard to see a dark side. "I was argumentative and defensive, and I was very angry," she recalled. "I was having panic attacks and anxiety attacks and all the physical problems that come with it. I had irritable bowel syndrome, and I couldn't sleep."

To survive, she pushed people away. "It makes intimate relationships very difficult," she said. "Some part of me was on guard, and it just wouldn't stop."

To be continued in Sunday's story