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Relationship expert explains why women stand behind cheating men

Relationship expert explains why women stand behind cheating

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - A relationship expert explains why some women stand behind their man, especially when it comes to high-profile couples.

El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa is accused of having inappropriate relationships with three female employees.  Hundreds of email exchanges between him and one woman, comptroller Dorene Cardarelle, were released to the media.  But Maketa's wife, Vicki, has stood by his side, showing up at rallies to support her husband.  In a Facebook post, Vicki said that her husband made mistakes in the past and they've moved past it.

Marcie Pregulman, a relationship expert and counselor behind LoveYourRelationship.com, explained that cheating is a big blow to any relationship.

"The lying really erodes love," Pregulman said.  "Our relationships are based on trust and when that trust is broken, the foundation of the relationship is totally gone."

Pregulman said there are factors that each person considers when deciding whether or not to stay in a marriage, called marriage constraints.  When a couple is in the spotlight, that adds more constraints.

"The professional piece is huge and, generally, they've been together awhile. They have a family and all of those reasons are reasons to stay together and work on the relationship," she said.  

Pregulman said that reviving a marriage after an affair is difficult, but possible.  Whether it's a high-profile couple or not, the basics of fixing it are the same.

"I don't think anyone can tell somebody what to do when they've been cheated on. They really need to do a lot of soul searching and find what's right for them and their relationship," she said.  "When you find out you've been cheated on, the best thing to do is work with a professional. You can't do this on your own. It's about rebuilding the trust."

Pregulman also noted that while many high-profile sex scandals involve men, statistics show that women cheat just as often.

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